Change and Philosophy
Pull back black elastic and creak open this forgotten Moleskine. Old revelations and acid-induced trails traced on thick browned paper, not so familiar. Excavation of caves of thought and heart, left tentatively in the Trash folder, yet to be emptied. I remember writing, “If you always assume that you are moving too fast, and moving tooooo fast causes loss, than always remember while you assume and never lose.” All lowercase letters, slightly italicied, pen ablaze with synaptic dances and a feeling like I figured a puzzle in a unique way.
There are themes we play on that are a part of our soul’s anatomy, they ain’t going no where. Hold fast to things that seem important, avoid destroying a good thing in reaction to the harsh realities. Preserve the best we can, it’s imperative, though the “point” is relative to our fear of the closing bell. I’ve got boxes and notebooks and piles to disseminate whenever I can break away from these time-sensitive engagements and Facebook messenger team management. Goddamnit. I may have a 750 score, years off the bottle, better sex, more followers and all happiness signifiers popping off, but I’m just biding time and building things before I attack the ‘skine with sharp swipes of the mental blade, filling pages that way I once did after takeoff on airplanes, on the eternal Commonwealth avenue, in a lover’s passenger seat, in duress and in need of teary relief.
The psyche is a continuous film reel, spliced with single cell memories that we sometimes question or chase down, but often are oblivious to. These sephia cells, dusty and stark, are what I work to dredge up and examine for research and exegesis. Sorry boss, sorry darlin’, sorry dad, you’ll have to excuse my absence, I’m busy shaking down the past for change and philosophy.