Ranch Essay – “Magnets”

The power of love came into me
And I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” – Rumi

All of my life, I have talked about what kind of women I was most attracted to, and what my life partner may be like. It’s something that so many of us do, perhaps to manifest him or her into our lives. And they often do appear and take that position in our lives, adding & never subtracting.

At first though, it’s something like velcro. The connection is a lucky coincidence and it is easily removed and attached again, and removed and attached again. All the while, we wait for the velcro to wear and stick together less and less, because it always seems to.

But sometimes it doesn’t. We are convinced, however, that we have our big, important reasons to have nothing or no one to stick to. We feel like attachment to this unworn connection needs to be cut, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of ego, sometimes self-sabotage. We reluctantly pry ourselves from the other, only to find that the space between exists only for an instant…You then realize that they are a (+) magnet and you are a (-). The pull to be near your love, or smack on top of them, is unending.

Any theoretical thoughts about what is most attractive, or what it is that turns us on, or makes our heart sing, all of that kind of disappears. Without our guard up, in the pull of the newly ceaseless connection, we look at our partner, blink, and understand that their face, body, mind, heart, scent, voice – all of it is enough, it is set in stone in our heart.

This doesn’t mean that every pair of magnets live happily together forever. We can become even more scared and freaked out once we have a clarity in our heart and a partner is found. This fear is pervasive in our society today. It means that we are a new kind of vulnerable, the kind that we are often not prepared for. This is when courage comes in handy. The courage to be that magnet, and to float inside that connection with honesty and self-less love.