There is something occurring to me
in a sort of centrifugal force
of the ocean kind of pattern.
The chop and ebb of the ceaseless brainwaves
and the breaking emotional tide,
create a natural phenomena
that doesn’t seem to have been mapped out
or explained in any hyper-rational way.
I must accept this for it’s dark beauty.
My mind is not to be set on auto-pilot
or to be settled into some simplistic state.
Coming off Paxil, it wasn’t meant for me.
I have the tools, the insight, the courage needed
to meet my fears, my desires, my life
head clear, head on.
It’s hard to help someone you love.
It can be excruciating just acknowledging their need,
their pain, struggle, fear and hear
the inflection of their voice as they describe
this hardship they must endure and battle.
You want to take up arms for them,
to walk right up to them and sever the hurt
forever. But you know you can’t.
That dark palisade that surrounds them,
it is debilitating their sense of power.
Change collapses as a possibility
and they clench their mind, pinned.
This is what we are designed to combat,
that which others cannot themselves.
By offering yourself to their cause
there is the hope that sustains.
They will try to do it on their own,
belittle the weight and keep you away.
But you will be there
without respite or delay.
That is all you are asked.