Ranch Essay – “Magnets”

The power of love came into me
And I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” – Rumi

All of my life, I have talked about what kind of women I was most attracted to, and what my life partner may be like. It’s something that so many of us do, perhaps to manifest him or her into our lives. And they often do appear and take that position in our lives, adding & never subtracting.

At first though, it’s something like velcro. The connection is a lucky coincidence and it is easily removed and attached again, and removed and attached again. All the while, we wait for the velcro to wear and stick together less and less, because it always seems to.

But sometimes it doesn’t. We are convinced, however, that we have our big, important reasons to have nothing or no one to stick to. We feel like attachment to this unworn connection needs to be cut, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of ego, sometimes self-sabotage. We reluctantly pry ourselves from the other, only to find that the space between exists only for an instant…You then realize that they are a (+) magnet and you are a (-). The pull to be near your love, or smack on top of them, is unending.

Any theoretical thoughts about what is most attractive, or what it is that turns us on, or makes our heart sing, all of that kind of disappears. Without our guard up, in the pull of the newly ceaseless connection, we look at our partner, blink, and understand that their face, body, mind, heart, scent, voice – all of it is enough, it is set in stone in our heart.

This doesn’t mean that every pair of magnets live happily together forever. We can become even more scared and freaked out once we have a clarity in our heart and a partner is found. This fear is pervasive in our society today. It means that we are a new kind of vulnerable, the kind that we are often not prepared for. This is when courage comes in handy. The courage to be that magnet, and to float inside that connection with honesty and self-less love.


Ranch Poem – “Love Got Lasik”

Artwork by Randal Roberts


Love Got Lasik

It was blind for so long
but my love got lasik

I put those blinders on
to keep some old way intact
Beast of habit be gone
please don’t fucking look back

I lost a friend, much more than
I searched by her soul’s light
My fear fell away in the wind
but that ache grew greater at night

It was blind for so long
but my love got lasik

Didn’t see the luck and fortune of you
I was a gambler playing with time
Too content with some stubborn truths
A clairvoyant ignoring the signs

Darlin’ this was no easy procedure
Peeling back the hardened past
to reveal one thing that could be sure:
I’d change anything to make it last

We didn’t belong in the dark
I see your light and I’m ready to face it
I was blind for so long
but my love got lasik


Ranch Poem – “Poem for Brittany During the Fall”


“Poem for Brittany During The Fall”

Sitting here rubbing my forehead hard.
You’ll text back eventually.
There’s Time, the great asshole,
hovering in the mind’s dim hallway.
He makes too many feelings for me,
and I only want to be trusted
by friends and lovers and strangers.
These kind eyes carry trouble I guess.

I know you’re going to do your best
to keep us a good idea, keep us okay.
The externals factor too hard sometimes
making rocket science out of our love.
When you talk about me to them,
they talk about me to them,
everyone speculates softly
and I just want to exist alone, away.
The knot of us is already doubled anyway.

Can’t we go wordless and stay in this room
my hand in your hair, my heart quiet?
Talking is my defense mechanism.
I’m on an endless tour of duty.
The shells rain on my shell, some go through me.
Cup my mouth, pat my chest
give me a hand to subtract my duress.
Give up demons, I won’t contest
these signs that are delivered as miracles.


Ranch Poem – Hundred Beaches


Hundred Beaches

Bonny Doon, Cabrillo Highway 1
I don’t know which way I’m going
Got girls behind me and my boys in between
Overcast, but I’m still squinting tight

Hundred beaches, I’m driving up to Oakland
Pampas grass sway, hanging moss hang
Exhaustless cars, I’m exhausted so far
Radio silence and a confusion swelling

Independence is the keys to the car
All the two-lanes merge into one
Yellow light ended quick and now it’s red
Let me into your heart, even if I can’t stay

This native Summer is crashing hard
Keeping tidy my plans to make out good
Got fears behind me and my dreams in view
But the fog never leaves the sun for good


Ranch Poem – “The Nonexistent Heart”


“The Nonexistent Heart” 

I’m the freedom man
with a spacious and
spaceless heart.
Nothing there really,
light and weightless,
raw and beautiful.
As sad as it is joyous.
It is meant to be spent
for others’ equanimity.
Tender as its bared,
love no longer scares.
Need be no explanation.
I see no illusion within
the muscle of loving.
The equidistance reminder
The nonexistent heart.



Ranch Poem – “Line of Sight”


“Line of Sight”

When you desire a blue woman
without a doubt down to your core
nothing else will do, she is all.
She is all that will satiate.
All that everything is compared.
All other nectars aren’t as sweet.
All other faces not as soft.
And you will turn down many others,
others who would be good for you,
because you have faith in romance
like Quixote and Cerano
and Dantes, Cummings and Homer.
You will endure blank loneliness
knowing that she would fill your life
with color and smiles and purpose.

So you wait but never do you sever
your love simply because she is not yours.
Love is more than sharing a kiss or a bed.
It is seeing the light in another.
And that beauty is yours no matter what,
so do not shut out the light in sadness.
There is warmth to cherish if we can see
past the blinding glare of our entitlement.
There is no reason to not be thankful
for her bright light in your line of sight.



Ranch Poem – “What a Dame”


“What a Dame”

Poetry is a beautiful woman
in a long dress
that takes care of me
She is a wealth of knowledge and memories
A helpful heartache
a muted muse
that inspires me to exist eternally
with every stanza of her being
I am devoted to her cause
as she cultivates
fields of words
and bluebonnets which I sow
I know much about her
but am always surprised
by the variations
in her lines, in her eyes
She doesn’t pluck easy prescriptions from her purse
She can’t block me or unfriend me
She is not afraid to not comprehend me
She has no ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands
or unhealthy relationships to hide from me
Although, in no way is she
exclusively my own
She is with me
While I’m alone
What a dame



Ranch Poem – “7 Billion”


“7 billion”

7 billion people living at once.
Right now, there is someone
being murdered, someone being raped
someone is detonating a bomb
and someone is committing suicide.
But you can be sure that
there are, at any given moment,
an overwhelming majority of that
7 billion who are being hopeful,
creating and laughing
and above all
are loving purely
lost in wonder
and praise